Blood on my hands
by Zombie Limes
Summary: Squee has finaly pulled to plug from his family and has retreated to Pepito. How will this work out when the anticrist has been holding in his feelings for Todd for quite some time? Pepito and Todd Are 16 in this story.
1. Intro

ATTENTION: This is a work of fiction about fictional characters that do not belong to me

ATTENTION: This is a work of fiction about fictional characters that do not belong to me. Pepito, his mother, and his father belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Todd, his mother, his father, and his bear belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Johnny and his insane ranting and creations belong to Jhonen Vasquez. Any companies such as coca cola, taco bell, or anything along those lines belongs to there owners. The only thing I can claim in this story is the story line.

Through out the story I would love to here your compliments, complaints, and ramblings about my writing. I'm not to open to flames, but I doubt you can offend me so go ahead, try to fight with some one on the Internet.

IMPORTANT: This story switches perspectives. You will notice separations like the one directly below.

* * *

These are saying that the story is switching perspective. This story starts out from Todd 'Squee' Casil's perspective.

THIS IS HOMOSEXUAL! Yes it's BL, boy love, yaoi, whatever you want to call it. This is the only warning you get to if you want to flame about "OMG HE'S TOTALLY NOT GAY LOL" then go stick a steaming iron post up your ass.

I am keeping the rating at 'M' I will not change it. There will be some hints towards sexual happenings. There will be cigarette use, alcohol consumption, violence, and possibly depending on how this story goes sexual intercourse.

SO! If I haven't scared you off please try your best to enjoy my story!

- Zombie Limes (a.k.a Olivia)


	2. Chapter One

My feet pounded the sidewalk, eyes glazed over like a gazelle running from a lion. The only thing that kept me moving at such a breakneck pace was fear and instinct.

I stopped running. _He _was there, maybe three feet in front of me. I felt my legs wobble, the fatigue kicking in.

He stood still, a cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth, his deep charcoal eyes full of question and worry. He made me want to crawl out of my skin and hide under a rock. I didn't know whether to embrace him or run back to the hell I had just fled from. I however did nether. I let my legs buckle under me like rotting damp plywood. The last thing my gaze caught was his shocked face. My eyes fluttered closed as he franticly threw himself towards me to halt my fall. With my vision blurred and my mouth to drunk on fear to even mutter I heard him whisper "Just a scrape, right amigo?"

* * *

My arms ached as the scrapes scabbed closed. I struggled to stand while holding his added weight. He barely passed the one hundred and ten mark, but it was still a lot of weight to support. I stood up shaking. I looked down upon his face. I cradled him in my arms gazing down at his angelic face. His dark brown hair caught the twilight's fading light. It framed his face, hanging over his black rimmed eyes and scraped cheeks. His face was slightly flushed and his mouth hung open almost as if it was begging to be saved. I brushed the hair off of his features only to uncover a large gash on his forehead. I rested the back of my hand on his cheek he was hot with a fever. I was burned up at the thought of how he had gotten these marks. It made me want to devote my life to ending the people who did this to him.

My heart ached as I slowly walked back to my empty home. I struggled to twist the key in the lock. As soon as I was in I kicked open the door to my room and placed his body on my mattress. He was breathing shallowly and the flush on his cheeks was subsiding. I sighed and sat next to my bed resting my chin on the edge so I could gaze at him. My mind slowly lulled to sleep.

* * *

I woke up to sound of a door closing. I bolted awake and sat upright thoroughly regretting this decision. My head pounded and I looked around. I was in a room painted black and decorated with posters. My mind finally caught up with me and I realized where I was. "Pepito" I muttered, thankful to my long time friend. I rested my head on a worn out, almost flat pillow. My eyes drifted closed but I remained awake. It may have been a few minutes or a few hours before he returned. He walked in wearing a pair or ripped up tight jeans with a checked belt. His lean torso was exposed and damp from a shower. He was drying his hair with a pale blue towel.

"Come on amigo, its okay" he muttered stroking my hair. He must have thought I was still sleeping as he sat on the edge of the bed humming some unknown tune. I rolled over to face him and I opened my eyes. He jumped in surprise at my movement.

* * *

I jumped a little at his movement. Thought he had still been unconscious. I cracked a smile and ruffled his hair laughing. "Trying to kill me?" I questioned. He just smiled as a response. I pushed him over and lay down next to him. We must have sat there for a good hour just staring at the ceiling enjoying each others company. I sat up…

He sat up, sighed, and rested on his elbows. Concern wrinkled on his brow and I could tell what he was about to ask.

I was almost afraid to ask knowing no matter what the answer to my question would be bad, but I opened my mouth anyway. "Why where you running, Todd?" I questioned my words dripping with concern. But nothing could have prepared me from the answer.

I had suspected it was just more beatings. But in the back of my mind I felt it was something worse. I wasn't sure of this hunch but his wordless reply made me stop thinking.

* * *

My mind was buzzing on an adrenaline overdose. His question left my longing for a short pleasant death, maybe stomach acid would be more pleasant then my answer. Yes I decided, being digested would be such a nice change.

Thoughts of death floated out of my mind and I met his eyes. His face was stern but I could see the worry wearing away at his composer. I'm not sure why I did what I did but it couldn't possibly get worse. Right?

He gazed up at my eyes and his expression was soft. Not the kind of soft that made you feel relaxed and reassured. He looked old, worn, and ready to give in.

I was lost in his eyes however corny it seems when he slowly scooted closer to me and wrapped his thin wiry arms around my torso. I will never be sure of whom he was trying to comfort with his touch. All these things flooded from my mind and I melted at the contact. I brushed the hair out of his face laced my fingers together behind his back. His bruised body and spirit made me want to well up with tears. I longed to know how he kept himself from breaking down and weeping after all he has been through in his sixteen years.

I found myself drifting off into the abyss of sleep with my arms around him and my head of his lean shoulder. It was so hard not to break down and cry but I promised myself long ago that such trivial things solved nothing. This resolution however was not kept and I found myself tearing up on his shoulder. I don't know how long he sat there with me before I finally dozed off into a restless slumber. All I know is I woke up alone to the smell of pancakes.

* * *

There we sat his head on my shoulder and his hands clasped behind my back. I gave into the touch and ran my fingers through his hair. I had quietly longed for a moment like this for years. I never thought such a tender moment would come from something so dark. I drank in his sent and let my eyes flutter closed…

I awoke with a stiff neck and Todd's slender arms weakly wrapped around me. Last night played through my mind and I did my best to get up without disturbing his trembling figure. I gazed down at his small form laying there on my bed and felt something inside me go soft. I draped a blanket over him. I made my way to the kitchen whilst lecturing myself over the growing feelings for the broken soul that was the one person I could confide with.

For the past 4 years I had feared telling him how I felt. I, the mother fucking antichrist was petrified that I would be rejected by Todd Casil average tenth grader. I was lost in thought and mindlessly spilling pancake batter as I mixed in the ingredients angrily. Out of the corner of my eye I spied him scuttle into the kitchen.

"Pancakes?" I lazily question pouring the last of my hastily prepared batter onto a griddle. He nodded and I skillfully flipped 4 steaming cakes onto his plate and offered syrup and butter. The last cakes where done, slightly burnt but none the less decent. I sat down across from him with a plate of several dozen pancakes between us. I found myself locked in a staring competition with a pancake when he broke the silence.

"I'm sorry" I muttered behind a shy smile. I found myself embarrassed about how clingy I had been. This was particularly unnerving because even I had to admit, he was an attractive antichrist. My insides squished around like starved piranhas in a bucket. I was almost ashamed. It made me feel silly and I cracked another smile.

I was stunned at the apology. It took me a brief moment to figure out what it was about. My mind flicked back to 7th grade.

_We where lounging in a makeshift tent in my room. I must have gone through at least 7 cans of cola that night. I don't remember how we got on the subject but he quietly asked me something…_

_"Pepito?" he muttered almost too quite to be heard "can I ask you something?" I nodded yes downing another soda and washing it down with a handful of vinegar chips. He looked shyly down and continued, "What would you do if I was gay?" I was caught of guard. I, at the time, didn't know whether to be surprised, offended, or confused. I found myself to be all of the above._

_"Nothing" I calmly decided this was the right answer, "when did ya figure it out, amigo?" I slurped more cola._

At least I figured out why he was jumpy about it. To bad he had a completely wrong opinion.

* * *

Pepito had known for some time about my sexuality, but this didn't keep me from blushing at the close contact of last night. I decided to change the subject to something a little grimmer.

"About last night" he rested his elbows on the table and looked me in the eye. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you why I was running." He was fully perplexed and gazed into my eyes with concern. A long pause followed as I worked up courage to continue with my grim tale.

"My mom was baked and yelling at me in what I believe was some sort of French and Italian hybrid. The only real words I understood where some cuss words and Hell." I cleared my throat and wiped my eyes. "Dad was completely smashed, nothing completely new. I took the beatings silently for a time; I let a few whimpers escape only to be punished for the noise and my existence." I felt a tear run down my cheek and Pepito wiped it away, then giving me time to continue. "I was okay for a bit, but it got worse than ever before. Before it had just been beatings with a belt or the occasional smack or kick, but this got out of hand. I don't know what possessed me but I felt a cold blade slice through my shirt and rip through my back. It made me so angry, angry at myself for taking the abuse all these years."

I broke down and dropped my head in my hands full out sobbing. I felt his hand on my shoulder and his voice whispering reassurance in my ear. "I don't know how I managed to do it but I got the knife… And I… I… I killed them" My voice sank to a whisper. My voice grew faster as I continued "I fucking killed them Pepito, The people who had caused me pain through my entire existence, there gone. I have nowhere to go, no home to return to. I can never go back. If I go to that house again I'll break down. I'm out of my fucking hell." I broke down crying over a plate of cold pancakes and he held me.


	3. Chapter Two

This is the improved chapter 2. some one pointed out to me how some things where unclear, I hope I fixed it!

* * *

I whispered words of reassurance in his ear as he spoke of his experience. I didn't know if I should be proud or frightened. He had faced his monsters; he had destroyed the beast that made his life a personal hell.

I wrapped my arms around him holding him against my shoulder. He sobbed for what could have been five minutes or 2 hours. It didn't matter. When his eyes ran dry I looked him in the eyes and had to restrain myself from congratulating him.

He gave me a week smile and I told him it would be all right. I told him that it was self defense and not his fault. And I finally I told him I was a happy about it.

* * *

I shrugged out of his hold and looked at him through swollen eyes. He had just told me he was happy my only family was dead. The realization swept through my mind that he was right. They had never done anything for me. They beat me, yelled at me, they told me to kill myself, and they stuck me in a mental hospital for 3 years. They had deserved it.

I was scaring my self; I felt my face twist into a smile. I forced the thoughts of joy from my head. This was wrong, I had taken there life's. My mind was overflowing with the possibilities, the self loathing, the pity, the pain, and the hope.

Pepito made my mind falter from the thoughts that where threatening to drive me over the edge. I felt his hand on his shoulder and I heard him murmur.

* * *

"Esté tranquilo ahora poco un" (Be quiet now little one) I whispered placing a hand on his shoulder, "we need to treat your wounds." I knew he was threatening to overflow with emotion.

He mumbled a "yes, of course" and I went to fetch some medical items from my mother's emergency kit. I returned with packages of gauze, a washcloth and a tube of Neosporin. He was sitting at the table with his head down; I couldn't blame him for being tired, if I remember correctly my first killings left me with a pang of guilt and a feeling similar to a hangover. I went to the sink and ran hot water.

I told him to take his shirt of and he slowly obliged before crumpling over the table again. I wet the washcloth and began to clean his wounds. There was a deep gash across his back. I ran my hand over it and felt the anger overtaking me. I took a few deep breaths and continued my task.

* * *

It took him an hour to properly bandage my injuries. It felt so strange being babied like this. I used to have to struggle the wash out my cuts while sitting in my to small bathroom.

When he finished I helped him clean up the two dozen left over pancakes, I remained mute as we sat on the couch clicking through the news channels. We finally decided on channel twenty seven. The short and stout news reporter was covering a cat fashion show.

We both burst out laughing when an obese cat walked up dressed in a neon green sweater. I almost pitied the forty something year old man who had to report on this garbage.

The fashion show drew to an end and Pepito reached for the remote.

* * *

I was about to select a new channel when the news flicked to an urgent report. Earlier this morning the Casil family was found murdered in there home. The suspect was there sixteen year old Daughter, Tina. I felt my eyes widen and I resisted laughter. I cast my gaze on Todd. He sat next to be trying not to giggle.

Then 'Tina's' description popped on the screen. The police said to look for a five foot three inch tall girl with long blond hair and light blue eyes. I was trying to figure out how the hell this description was even created. In the middle of my thoughts I was distracted. Todd had stuffed his shirt with couch pillows and was sauntering around my living room.

* * *

Pepito burst out with laughter at the site or my large and uneven breasts. I walked around shaking my hips for a few moments before stopping.

"My mommy and daddy where sooooo mean! I got sooooo mad when they didn't get me my mother fucking pony!" I wined before falling forward on my bosoms. We must have laughed for the rest of the news report. I removed my implants and fell onto the couch.

I still felt pangs of guilt for what I did but it was better then Pepito losing his temper and killing them, or even my now absent neighbor taking care of the job.

We lounged watching ignorant cartoons for the better part of the morning before Pepito came up with a plan.

* * *

"Mi amigo apresurar, tiempo para comer!"(My friend hurry, its time to eat!) I had apparently startled him with my sudden outburst. I hopped out of my chair flicked off the television and grabbed his arm.

"Si, I get it Pepito. Now knock it off or your going to rip my arm off" he retorted. It was time for the best part of my parents being away on business, the junk food and the booze. I put on a leather jacket and tossed him a flannel coat.

* * *

I caught the jacket and put it on over a band t-shirt Pepito had lent me. I asked if we where taking his car.

"Nope, it's in the shop." He replied heading for the door. I sighed; the nearest convenience store was a little over a mile away. We locked the door behind us and began our trek through the crisp autumn air.

At our pace it took almost 45 minutes to arrive at the Quick Mart. My mind was still wrestling with itself about my deed. Pepito treated it as if I had merely squished a spider on a side walk.

Upon entering Pepito busied himself gathering armfuls of junk food and candy. I gave in and picked out a pack of energy drinks and a bag of cheese curls. I helped him pile the mounds of sugary teeth decaying food at the counter.

* * *

"Yah and I want a carton of Newport's" I nonchalantly added, taking out my wallet. The bill came out to fifty seven dollars and thirty eight cents. I showed him my fake ID while coating his mind with demonic powers so he would accept the obviously fake card.

After paying we began our journey home drinking brain freezies and carrying plastic bags full of junk. We passed a pet store and I stopped. Todd must have walked at least 6 more feet before realizing I had paused. I snickered at his embarrassed face.

The window display of the store was full of kittens wobbling around and mewing. A silly grin spread across my face and as I proudly declared "Squee, I'm buying you a kitten."


End file.
